I remember when I first came to this country as a permanent resident, I was crying every day from missing my family and friends back home in Manila. I was educated, motivated, experienced, but jobless and therefore, miserable. That's just who I am, I cannot NOT move, cannot NOT function, cannot NOT have a use.
It was a dark period of my life. I had such an image of living in America where I would buy a house, go to the office every day, have my assistant open my mail, get paid every two weeks and get a promotion every year. But I came here when the real-estate bubble was at the cusp of bursting. Everyone was feeling the tension. Everyone could see the looming darkness and the lightning that came from afar. Most American companies, with whatever sense was left in them, ran for shelter and closed their doors for new hires. So I, along with millions of other jobseekers, was left outdoors, terrified of the coming storm.
It took me four months before I could find a part-time, retail job. Then a month after starting this job, I worked as a temp. I was let go two months later, but thankfully, I still had my part-time job. A month later, I landed as a sales assistant to a book publisher. Yes, I was the assistant in my American dream. Nothing wrong there, I loved that job, but it wasn't how my dream was supposed to be narrated. So, I vowed that I will work my way up and I did. Four months later, I was overseeing three of the company's top five accounts and I had left my part-time job. At this time, the bubble had burst, the storm has landed and was not about to leave anytime soon. I had found myself a shelter during the storm.
A year and a half later, circumstances have changed in my family. We needed to relocate for a better, more secure future. So, I looked for a job that allowed me to work from home and I found it in a matter of months. I realize I was very, very fortunate. I was earning more, working from home, traveling around the country, getting along with my boss and receiving hefty bonuses. The job (actually, the company), had a number of loose screws, but hey, which job doesn't? I was going to stick to my guns and stay here until I find a better opportunity while working from home.
It turns out that the screws were too loose to hold the company together. Tomorrow, almost two years after joining this company, I will find myself as one of the 15 million Americans who are unemployed. Our company is closing its doors, that's all we were told about the closure.
It's a very hard predicament to be in. I am still fortunate compared to others, thank God, that I have a support system. However, one cannot take away the panic and the fear of the unknown. Oddly, I find myself in the same emotional situation I was in when I first came to this country, only this time, I have more to lose. I have a family now, a home, car to pay for. Numbers show the economy is slowly picking up. But for the unemployed, it is just picking up too slowly.
I have to take the emotional aspect out of the equation. I have cried far too many times and it's not helping anyone. Psychologically, I get rattled every now and then. But I have to clear my mind completely and look at our new situation from a more mature perspective. I have to believe that there is a light at the end of this long, dark, narrow and stinky tunnel. And, according to Eleanor Roosevelt, I have to "do the thing you think you cannot do."
Can I survive this?
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